Josh drove along the dusty, dirt road headed for Hawk's house and he felt his heart beating wildly. He would see her today. He pulled up the drive and his eyes found her right away. There she was. She was sitting on the front porch swing and he could tell she was smiling. Josh pulled the car to a stop and slowly got out as he watched her stand and start off the porch towards him. His breath caught in his throat. She wore a solid white sundress that fit perfectly to her body and tied around her neck, she was barefoot as she came to stand before him.
"Hi." Josh's eyes were fixated on her. She gave him that smile and he felt his body react in the most natural way and he prayed that she wouldn't notice. It had been so long since he had held her, since he had felt her body close to his own. The screen door slammed shut, breaking Josh's daze and he looked past Reva to the porch, Hawk standing there staring suspiciously at him. Josh reached his hand up in a waving manner but Hawk did not wave back, instead he leaned against the porch post, folded his arms and watched Josh. Josh sighed, Hawk had every right to act like that towards him; he hadn't exactly treated Reva how she had deserved to be treated.
"Don't mind Pop, Joshua. You know how he is." Reva started and Josh laughed.
"Reva, he looks like he wants to go get his gun right about now. Maybe I shouldn't stay here, it doesn't look….safe." He laughed. Reva laughed too and turned back towards the porch.
"Pop, would you stop that? You have Joshua here shakin in his boots!" Reva chuckled but she turned back to Josh. He was wearing boots she noticed as her eyes trailed up his form from the toe of his cowboy boots, up his legs covered by the tight blue jeans that fit in all the right places, to his chest, his navy blue collared shirt rolled up at the elbows, she took it all in. Just his look alone gave her butterflies in her stomach and she prayed he didn't see the lust in her eyes. Hawk stood straight up and nodded in Josh's direction before turning to go back in the house.
"His silent warning." Josh smiled, but he knew Hawk would keep to his word, he would be watching him.
"So…." Reva smiled as she stared up at him.
"Wanna go for a walk?" Josh offered and he knew his idea was good for her as he watched her eyes light up.
"A walk, sure, sounds good. Oh, maybe we should take a blanket and a picnic basket, I can make us some sandwiches and we could go sit by that big ole oak tree out in that field; you know the one right?" Reva's suggestion came out in a rush, why did she feel so nervous?
"Yeah, I know the one. That sounds great."
"I'll be right back; you wanna bring your things in. I made up the spare room for you."
"No, no. I think I'll wait to bring my things in." Josh said, his eyes watching her as she nodded and turned, headed for the house. Reva stopped on the front step and turned back to him, a smile crossing her face.
"No mustard right?" She called to him and Josh gave her a confused look. "No mustard on your sandwich, you said before you hated mustard." Her eyes watched his reaction and she saw that smile of his.
"No, no mustard." Josh yelled back to her. He shook his head and kept right on smiling.
Reva walked to the kitchen to get the sandwiches together. Hawk had been sitting at the kitchen table pretending to read the newspaper, all the while staring out the kitchen window; his spying eyes had been on them. He stood and walked to her as she opened the fridge.
"What are you doing Sister?" He asked her point blank. Reva began to hum as she leaned down, opening a drawer to pull out ham and cheese. "You better answer me Sister." Hawk warned as she shut the fridge back after grabbing the mayo and mustard. Her arms were full but she stood there and looked her father in the eyes.
"Pop, what does it look like I'm doing, I'm making sandwiches; do you want one?" Reva smiled so innocently at him that it made him laugh out loud.
"You know what I mean girl." He chuckled, taking some of items from her arms.
"We're just talking Pop. There isn't anything wrong with talking." Reva insisted as she headed over to the counter. Hawk followed behind her and sat down the other sandwich items.
"Reva, ain't he still married to your sister?" Hawk eased out.
Reva walked to the pantry and pulled out the bread and headed back over to the counter. "Pop, I said we are just talking. And besides, it seems I really have a thing for married men these days." Reva snapped, thinking of Jeffrey back in Springfield. Reva softened her tone and turned to Hawk. She lifted her hand and rubbed it on his cheek as he smiled. "I know what I'm doing Pop. He and Cassie are over, but I'm no fool. I'll watch my heart this time, but I adore you for keeping an eye on it too." Reva pulled her hand away and started making the sandwiches. Hawk shook his head, his little girl was one tough cookie, always had been, always would be.
"I'll be around if you need me Sister." Hawk called over his shoulder as he headed into the living room. Reva hurriedly finished the sandwiches and put them in the picnic basket that she pulled out of storage. She walked to the linen closet and took out a blanket. Reva gasped as she suddenly felt his hands on her shoulders from behind, so warm and familar. Reva felt herself relax into his touch and she wanted so badly to lean back onto his chest, to feel his arms around her.
Josh felt her relax under his fingertips and he wanted so badly to wrap his arms around her. "Can I help you with anything?" He asked. Reva turned to face him.
"The picnic basket is in the kitchen. You startled me; I didn't hear you come in." Reva could feel her face was flush and she tried to explain it away. Josh nodded, taking notice of the slight pink coloring of her lovely cheeks as he went to the kitchen to get the basket. Reva waited by the line closet for him to return, closing her eyes and trying to clear her thoughts. Josh returned a few minutes later and she heard him approach. She opened her eyes and he followed behind her as they started outside, the screen door banged loudly as they left was Hawk's only message that they were leaving.
The air was fresh as they walked side by side, taking in the beauty of the land. Neither one spoke, it was enough just to be near. Josh looked down at Reva's bare feet, she hadn't bothered to put shoes on for their walk and Josh smiled, she had always loved to feel the dirt and grass beneath those beautiful toes of hers. Reva watched him from the corner of her eye as they walked and she took notice of his gaze on her. The silence between them was not awkward, but peaceful as they came up to the old tree and Reva spread the blanket out for them and slowly eased herself onto it. Josh sat besides her, sitting the basket down.
"There are so many things I want to say to you Reva." Josh's voice was low and he did not look at her, instead he stared out into the open fields ahead of them.
"Like what Bud? We have all the time in the world right now, or at least that's how it feels like it here. Tell me what you want to say, I'm all ears."
Josh turned to her, the sunlight playing off her golden hair, the look in her eyes; she deserved so much, so much that he hadn't given her.
"You never answered me Reva, last night, when I asked if you could ever forgive me." Josh's eyes searched hers, as if he would find her answer hidden there.
"What you did, was terrible Joshua. But if you'll recall, I wanted you back, even as we signed our divorce papers, I wanted you back. What does that tell you?" Reva said pointedly.
"You also told me someday I would want you back, and when that day came, you might take me back, and you might not. I'm not asking for an answer to that right now, frankly the thought you of never wanting me back again scares me." Josh stared at her.
"I'm not sure you have anything to be scared of Joshua. But it won't be easy this time; a set of hoops might be in order." Reva smirked at him. The sun was beginning to go down and they sat for a moment in the quiet of the evening.
"Hoops huh? I think I can deal with hoops. It's worth it, whatever you put me through to get you back, it's gonna be worth it."
"Bud, I can't promise you anything right now. I want you to understand that. Even though Jeffrey is married, I'm still with him." Reva sighed at her own words.
Josh leaned over slowly as if to kiss her sweets lips into silence. Reva saw him then, his mouth moving towards hers and she closed her eyes, preparing herself to be whisked away in his passion. But his lips did not touch hers, no; instead he gently planted a kiss on her cheek. Reva opened her eyes a bit confused; she looked at him.
"I know what you're thinking Darlin, and it isn't right. I do want you; I do want to make love to you, right here, and right now. But you are still with Jeffrey, and I'm still married to Cassie and when I make love to you, I don't want anyone, not Jeffrey or Cassie, and especially not you to think it is about revenge on either one of our parts. Jeffrey hurt you, yes, Cassie hurt me, yes, but this isn't about revenge. This was a wake up call for me, I don't know about you and Jeffrey, I can't answer that, but I know what I want and I want it to be right. You deserve a lot of things Reva and I have a lot to make up for, but I do want you, don't doubt that, but I will respect you, even if it kills me." Josh smiled at her and he watched as he leaned into him, her head resting then on his chest. He wrapped his arms around her and felt her move closer to him, her body molding to his as she sighed. "Will you forgive him Reva, for marrying Olivia?" Josh whispered as they watched the sun start to sink low in the sky.
"I forgave you for marrying Olivia, why not him?" Reva asked as if she were talking to a friend instead of the man who had just professed his love for her. But she needed a clear head, she did need a friend, and Josh was offering to be patient, he was offering to be a shoulder, he was offering to be understanding of her and Reva needed that more than anything. She did not want to hurt this man beside her, the one she had loved her whole life, but she wanted to be honest with him and with herself. Josh did not want to face her words; they stung though he knew she did not mean them that way. She was trying to be logical, to be cautious and to make the right choice. Josh knew what he could do right now, he could plead his case, he could make Jeffrey out to be the bad guy, but it wouldn't be fair to sway her decision away from Jeffrey because he was here with her and Jeffrey was not, but all is fair in love and war, Josh fought the urge to whisper. Josh didn't give a damn about Jeffrey, but he did love her, and he wanted Reva to come to him, not have to be swayed.
"Lets eat before it gets dark." Josh murmured. Reva pulled from him and Josh fumbled around in the basket for their sandwiches. Reva and Josh ate in silence yet there was so much between them. When they finished Josh looked to her, the sun was vanishing fast and the breeze blew through the tree limbs above them. Josh lay down on the blanket, waiting for the stars to come out. Reva smiled as she stared down at him, her eyes falling to his lips, and she felt the butterflies again. She fought the urge to kiss him, to choose him so easily. She fought against her own heart and laid down beside him, snuggling up next to him, for the warmth of his body, for the contact of his body. They stayed like that for what seemed like hours, as the stars appeared in the night sky, brilliant and shining, like her eyes, Josh thought, as she lay nestled beside him, as if the past two years had not happened. Though he would have given anything to prolong this moment forever, he knew they needed to get back. "Reva, we should get back before Hawk sends out a search party." Josh laughed. He heard her groan in defiance and he laughed at her unwillingness to move from the spot she was in, her head lying on his arm, her hand on his chest. Reva reluctantly pulled from him and as he stood, he offered his hand down to her to help her up. Reva slide her hand into his and felt herself being pulled from the blanket. Her body crashed into his and she lost her breath for a second with the impact.
"I see stars." Revs whispered as she stared into his eyes. Reva leaned in, bringing her lips inches from his and Josh held himself in check, not moving his own lips to hers though he wanted to so badly. He closed his eyes, waiting for her lips to come sweetly to his but he knew he couldn't let her do that. If her lips fell to his, he would have to have her and nothing and no one would stop him. He pulled away, taking her hand in his. The thunder rolled in suddenly as a brief warning, but the warning came too late as the rain poured from the sky. Reva gasped as the cold water fell down hard on her. Josh reached down and grabbed the blanket from the ground, slinging it over his shoulder then took hold of the basket. He looked at Reva, the water dripping into his eyes.
"Come on Darlin, you're getting soaked!" He yelled at her. Reva moved with him, her feet getting muddy as they ran. Reva felt her feet sliding from under her, she cried out as she tumbled forward. Josh reached out, catching her before she hit the ground, the blanket and the basket falling instead. Her breathing was labored and she struggled to stand up right. This rain was quickly turning into a flash flood, too dangerous for them to be out in. Josh reached down; picking her up into his arms and he ran with her as fast as he safely could. The lightening flashed to their right and Reva jumped in his arms and buried her head in Josh's chest. He didn't stop running until he had them inside and he stood there huffing, her arms around his neck, she was out of breath too from the fear they had both felt. He gently lowered her from his arms and he looked at her. Reva's hair was soaking wet, and her dress, her dress clung to her revealing every curve of her body as if she were naked to him and Josh could not stop staring. He pulled his eyes away from her body and moved them to her feet, seeing the mud all over Hawk's floor. Reva looked down, taking in the view of her wet dress, and her eyes widened as she saw her body exposed. She quickly wrapped her arms around herself.
Josh felt his throat tighten as he kept his eyes trained on her muddy feet as he spoke to her, "You should get out of those clothes." He murmured and he closed his eyes then, wishing he would be the one helping her out of her clothes, peeling that dress from her wet body, the image in his mind causing him to shiver. Reva touched his arm and felt him jump.
"Bud, you're shivering, I'll get you a blanket." But Josh grabbed her arm as she started towards the linen closet.
"I'll be fine. I'm gonna go change clothes. You should grab a hot shower." He heard himself say and he wanted to kick himself for putting such torturous thoughts into his own head. When would he learn to keep his mouth shut? Reva nodded slowly at him, giving him a sideways glance.
"Yeah, I should. I'll be out in just a minute." Reva commented as she opened the linen closet and took out two towels, handing one to Josh and then she took off upstairs. Josh was thankful that he had changed his mind and taken her advice and decided to bring his things in earlier that day while Reva was making the sandwiches. He waited until he heard her at the top of the stairs before going up himself. Josh entered his room and took out fresh clothes. He stripped down and toweled himself off before pulling on his dry clothing. Josh reached down and picked up his wet clothes, leaving the room, he made his way to the laundry room where he placed his clothes in the washing machine. He added laundry detergent and stopped, a wide smiling coming across his face, he wondered if Reva needed her dress washed, maybe he would slip in and get it off the bathroom floor, Josh chuckled to himself. Suddenly he pictured her there in the shower, the hot water running over her. Josh groaned loudly in frustration and his face turned white as he saw Hawk walk by. The sound of Josh's groan caused Hawk to stop dead in his tracks and he lingered in the doorway of the laundry room, staring in amusement at Josh.
"Boy, you got a lot of problems, you know that?" Hawk shook his head and tried not to smile.
"Yeah Hawk, I know." Josh leaned against the washing machine and sighed. Hawk laughed and turned to go.
"Hey wait, Hawk, you still have that old cassette player around?" Josh asked.
Hawk gave him an odd look and once more shook his head, "You got it bad son, I can tell you that."
"And why do you say that?" Josh shot back, challenging the old man.
"Because that old cassette player has been sitting in the room your staying in for years, it's been there all day and you can't take your eyes off Reva long enough to check out your surroundings." Hawk snapped, his voice in a singsong manner. Josh rolled his eyes and walked past Hawk without a word more, he had lost the battle; he told himself, Hawk had been right. Josh got into his room and closed the door behind him. He picked up his suitcase and unzipped a side pocket, pulling out an old cassette tape. Josh walked to the cassette player and slipped the tape inside, his finger pressing down on the play button. The music started and Josh walked to the bed, laying down and stretching out on the softness of the mattress. He listened to the lyrics allowing the words and the melody to take him back to another place, to another time. "Standing here, your hand in my hand, I can see it in my mind the first time I met you, you were bare foot in the sand. Hearts were so wide open, to love and maybe more, I held you close and closed my eyes; it was you I was looking for. How could I ever love you more, than I do at this very moment when I think of all the years that I wanna spend with you. How could I ever love you more, with the love I feel you showin, everyday I see it growin, baby oh baby, how could I ever love you more." Josh hummed along with the music for a moment before a knock came at the door. He jumped up and pulled the door open expecting a cocky looking Hawk, but he was met with Reva instead. She wore a baby blue silk robe over a matching nightgown that fell to her ankles, its tiny straps delicately lying on her shoulders.
"I heard the music." Reva began.
"I'm sorry, you're in the room beside mine, I should have thought about it; I didn't know it was too loud. I'll turn it down." Josh started towards the cassette player but Reva reached out and grabbed his arm, stopping him. Josh turned back to her and both their eyes fell on her hand holding his arm. Reva suddenly pulled her hand away and forced a smile, the touch had not meant to be so intimate but it had been. It had sent a shock wave through her body and the sound of that song, no, their song flowing through the air was making her feel giddy and she just couldn't help herself.
"I should get to bed." Reva said, her eyes holding his.
"You should dance with me." Josh whispered as he reached out his hand to her. Reva looked down at his hand, the music still playing and she wanted him to take her away. She knew if she took his hand, if she danced with him to this song that he would take her away, back to the time when all they knew was love, each other's love, and it had been enough to see them through anything. Reva slowly reached her hand out, placing it into his and closed her eyes as she felt him pull her into the room, felt his body against hers, his arm around her waist as they began to sway to the music together. Her arms instinctively went around his neck, her fingers playing in his hair at the nape of his neck as he led her back in time, moving in a rhythm that was all their own. Reva felt dizzy, her head spinning, the smell of his cologne had not been washed away by the pounding rains and it filled her nose as she breathed him in. She moved to lay her head on his chest, pressing their bodies closer still. Josh felt her sigh and he held her tighter, his hand around her waist moving to stroke her back through the fabric of her nightgown. He led her around the bedroom, rocking together in perfect sync to the music filling the air. Reva pulled back from him slightly, her eyes meeting with his, his stare was so intense it was as if he could see into her soul. She wanted something, needed something so badly from him and she knew if she asked he would give in to her in a heartbeat no matter what he had told her earlier. Her eyes shown with the love for him she had carried with her all of her days and she reached hand up, rubbing the side of his face, feeling his skin under her finger tips.
"Make love to me Joshua." She whispered, her voice was barely audible but he didn't need to hear her voice to know what her body was telling him. His willpower melted away, his heart was racing and he brought his lips down to her neck as he kissed her there. Reva tilted her head back giving him access and she moaned as he moved his hot breath further down, his kisses on her body so slow, her body tingling with desire. She cupped the back of his head, holding his head in place, demanding more of what he was giving her and he readily obliged her. Josh was murmuring her name into the soft flesh just above the top of her nightgown as he kissed her. The want and need was so strong he could barely breathe, and he realized once more that he only breathed to love her, he only existed to hold her in his arms, this, right now was him truly living,
His fingers slid her robe off revealing the nightgown underneath to him, it's fabric seemed molded to her body and his eyes roamed her curves. He had to slow himself but he was painfully aware of how much he desired her, his body begging for release, but it was more than that, he needed to feel connected to her, to be one with her in a way that had always felt so right. Reva held him to her, their bodies pressed together. She had missed him so much, had missed this, being his world, the center of his universe. Reva's head spun as she whispered his name, taunting him with her sultry words, urging him on, coaxing him in all the right ways. Reva knew she was in control, he was giving her that power over him and it made her dizzy and crazed all at once. Josh was moving her now to the bed, gently laying her down. Reva's hair spilled out behind her, as she lay on her back in a dreamy daze, her eyes never leaving his. Josh moved over her, his hands caressing her body, his eyes making love to her already. Reva gripped his back, her hands bunching in the shirt he wore. His lips took hers then, his kiss so sweet, so delicious. The kiss was long and deep and as he broke it and began to kiss her neck again, his ragged breath was like fire on her skin. Reva rolled her head slowly from side to side, and she was telling him she loved him, telling him she needed him, always had, and her hands were moving through his soft hair. Josh pulled back slightly and ran the tip of his finger over her lips, relishing the satiny feel before he got up and walked to the door slowly shutting it closed. He stood there staring at her on his bed for a moment; he knew that she wanted this as much as he did. All he could do was think of her as he walked back to the bed and stood before her as she lay there but Reva sat up suddenly and lifted a hand to her chest.
"I'm so sorry Joshua." Her voice was breathy as she looked up at him. His face did not fall, his demeanor did not change; this was her choice to make. Josh sat down beside her, he wanted so badly to pull her close but he knew any more contact with her might send him over the edge. "I got carried away. What you said before, earlier tonight, you were right. I'm sorry. It was the song, and you were holding me, it just felt so right." Reva closed her eyes and took a few long, deep breaths to calm her beating heart and to quiet the desire raging through her. She was struggling to explain herself but Josh just shook his head as he stared at her.
"You don't have to explain, I understand. I told you how I felt; it's good that you are agreeing with me, forcing me to stick by what I said. Do you want me to walk you to your room?" Josh gave her a meek smile as he tried to ease the tension between them.
"No, that's ok. I'll make it next door." Reva tried to smile as she stood. She looked down at him and sighed before heading to the door. Pulling the door open that Josh had shut just moments ago, he heard her whisper so soft and low, "Good night Bud." And Josh heard the door shut behind her as she left. Josh sighed and threw his self back on the bed, burying his face in his pillow. The music had long since stopped playing and he had no desire to turn it back on, no, he needed sleep because she would be there waiting for him in his dreams and as he clung to his pillow, thinking of her in the bed next door, Josh closed his eyes and let sleep take him back to her arms once more….
By: Rach
Lyrics by Unknown
*To Be Continued....
LOL!
